Friday, October 30, 2009

Crossing over that bridge.

In life, we're frequently forced to make hard decisions...
and when indecisiveness occurred, we'd turned to our lover,spouse,relatives and direct families....

As usual,we'd turn to the one that understands us most, the one that's going through the same issues, ones that are having similar heartaches . The one that we could talk about everything to..

More often then not, we'd turn to our best friends.

Yes, given that parents have been through it all. Being experienced, parents are able to dish out wise quotations, and life lessons learnt the hard way. Perhaps living by this rule ,they in fact have moved on from this phase in life. And by moving on, they would have already forgotten what it's like, how hard it has been for them when they were in their young, tender years.

We laugh now, nostalgic bout our times as a gullible little kid... being punished and all.
Comparing cane marks, and brutal scars. But let's face it, what we don't recall are the pains of growing up from that stage.
The abuse of our freshman parents, not knowing how to handle a child's psych and raw emotions, lashing out at us with a wrath that's absolutely unacceptable for a small crime committed.

We've all been there as a kid.

But we're no longer the same child, and that being said, cannot connect with another kid. Not the way a kid could. Not with play-acting and imaginations.

We've move passed that.

And times have changed, we're no longer brought up the way our parents were. The same solution cannot apply to a different, albeit similar problem. The answer is obsolete. History doesn't repeats itself in the same pattern. We would always have to change to fit in with society. And it's harder to understand when you have a whole decade of differences to figure out...

Hence it's peers we turn to at our times of need.

But what if a major decision in life involves the very peers we turn to... our best friend, our la confidante?

What if our closest buddy don't see eye to eye with us any more.
An intervention.
Suddenly, you're not as close as you used to be..
and everything feels like it's falling apart.

What if the shortcomings we used to compromise with, turned and backfired...
What if suddenly, your friend could not stand the you stir your tea, and tap the edges with your spoon.
Or if you gets annoyed whenever your friend drops over anytime without asking for permission first.
What if every little thing they did gets on each other's nerves...
What if friendship expired each other without the people involve even realizing it?
Unresolved issue starts to arise. And both unable to make out what's eating them inside out.
The ultimate question is played over and over again, like a broken record.

What's different then before...?

What once was a beautiful friendship between two people aren't working any longer.
No longer walking the same paths.
Mindsets begin to gravitate to those similar to their own..
and opinions begin differ...
And after endless arguments, months and months of awkward silences, both unwilling to yield, and ready to snap.

One at her wits ends trying to change to fit in..
while the other not seeing it, insisting on a change.

And when one can no longer accept a behaviour or habit, they stop compromising for it.
They outgrew a person...
They stop calling
Stop keeping in touch.
And when they do that, suddenly it hits them.

Life had simply just move on.

That all those bitter quarrels were just stepping stones to be crossed.
That there was no point in arguing because neither was right nor wrong.
They were simply just...


The change was painful.
It was heartbreaking.
The realization brought tears streaming down my face...
I never thought they day would come where I'd had to cross this bridge.

Some things can never be worked out.
Because there was nothing to work out in the first place.
Sometimes in life, when compromising doesn't do the job, we're left only with one choice.


To the fact that we no longer "click" the way we use to.
To the fact that we can't change everybody to suit our lifestyle and needs.
That our wants and desires had evolved.
The fact that we need different things from a friendship.
And finally, that our characters have just outlived each other.

Dear Friend,
I know perhaps thing have not been all warm and shibby shibby between us. But i will and always remain, a friend that you can fall back on when the world's a bitter place.

That's is all. I wish you the best life can offer, wherever you are going next.


/Where did i go wrong,
I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And i would have stayed up with you all night
Had i known, how to save a life.'
-The Fray